http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R795KiMD4zs
I had just finished a bootcamp in Winnipeg. Closed the deal and had a huge week lined up in LA. Flight was delayed so I perused the bookstore looking for something new and exciting.
There on the shelf, in its entire eye catching marketing glamour was the book that completely turned my program and my game on its head. The book that would confirm academically a lot of the theories and experiences that I already knew. It gave me the most important perspective than any guy who has the intentions of improving this part of his life need to be aware of.
Sceptically I inspected the book, guessed that it would be like so many other anecdotal, quick fix ‘how to flirt’ piece of shit books out there. Reading the info about the author i quickly discovered that her expertise was verified with decades of experience in the field of relationship psychology and neuropsychology.
Basically put, it described the mechanical workings of the brain. The Author, Louann Brizendine M.D. is a neuropsychiatrist at the university of California and the founder of women’s and girl’s mood and hormone clinic.
If anyone from the academic area is qualified to offer insight into the working of a female mind it is this woman.
The book is primarily designed to address the differences between male and female brains, as Brizendine argues all research on the brain has historically presumed that it is a male brain in question.
More than anything the book contrasts the differences between male and female brains, development, hormonal characteristics and the behaviour that one could expect in light of certain neurological activity.
At university this was the focus of my studies and I thoroughly benefited from and enjoyed this book.
Although a lot of amazing epiphanies are outlined in this book the ones most applicable to men’s self actualisation and understanding of social dynamics I will cover in detail.
Being a biologist Brizendine is an advocate of evolutionary theory and supports all of her facts empirically from this perspective. The basic idea is that emotionally, we are essentially monkeys with a cognitive computer strapped on top.
In addition to this it is presupposed knowledge that the more a person performs a certain activity the more brain cells are assigned to that task. This overtly supports the Real Social Dynamics directive to get into field.
On an emotional level, humans have the reproductive emotional brains of cats, dogs or chimpanzees, but, evolved a higher cognitive brain to consciously regulate these emotions, build pyramids, design computers and develop medicine.
Examples of this might be when you interact with a woman from another language. Given that you cannot logically communication via the traditional words the emotional channels are tapped into and attraction for both the man and woman is amplified, or rather unstifled, because there is less higher cognitive brain involved to interfere. Reproduction made simple. Just like mammals.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R795KiMD4zs
Furthermore, people drink to delete the cognitive brain that restrains them from being themselves, trusting themselves and acting through their own intentions.
Confidence happens when you perceive that nothing holds you back.
When do most people sleep together? When they are drinking or drunk. This is a result of a combination of social conditioning (advertising campaigns) and neurochemical reactions.
Neurologically, the alcohol has an inhibition effect on the cognitive brain, effectively unshackling the more primal emotional brain that was being held in check by the conditioned higher cognitive brain.
Is alcohol crucial to achieving sex? Of course not. But Brizendine confirms academically the knowledge that the community has so long been aware of and implemented. Brizendine clearly states that 'female sexual arousal begins when the brain turns off’.
Of course most men would read this and instantly think, get her drunk. That’s socially expected and conditioned from a young age. But another, more effective way of doing this is engaging the brain, whilst sober, illogically.
When I use the word illogically I mean saying things that don’t quite make sense, random non-sequesters, physical charisma and unpredictability. This can come in the form of something funny, which in actual fact is an element of surprise and an emotion spike. Witty comments that add an unforseen perspective on a situation, a sudden change of mood to anger or excitement.
An unknown adventure, thrills and uncertainty. All of which are emotional spikes, which guys like Tim, Tyler, Jeffy, and Ryan~ have been talking about for years.
Imagine that women's emotional brain and logical brain are like a counterbalanced scale. The more she is logical, the less she is emotional. The more she is emotional the less she is logical. Ask any executive coach about what happens to a girl when she becomes emotional, or in other words detached from logic.
Sex happens when the brain is turned off according to Brizendine. Engage her emotionally and disregard logic she will fall into your communication frame, get her state from you and become very sexually aroused.
Contrastingly, have you ever engaged women in a logical conversation? “Where are you from, what are you doing, where did you go to school, I have a friend who has a jealous ex girlfriend who keeps pictures of some other girl in his draw and it’s a two part question.” Pretty gay. Boring and incongruent with whom you are as a man. To the woman, as long as you are predictable and logical attraction will be about as accessible to you as Area 51.
The logical emotional balancing act as outline by Brizendine is in support of the Alpha Male – Beta Male theory. Emotionally and illogically she desires the alpha and the rush that comes from him. Logically and cognitively she thinks it best to be with a committed stable guy. She is right on both counts and is continually at the mercy of the push pull miscommunication between the logical and emotional brains.
As a side note, the formula that should be adapted for group theory should be ‘friendly and logical’ with the target’s friends while being 'flirty and illogical' with the target herself.
Essentially flirting is illogicality.
A lot of guys fail to remember the constant neurobiological civil war that is constantly being ranged inside of any woman. With the exception of some birth control pills and other treatments. On a monthly basis woman undergo a literal rollercoaster of hormonal changes.
To look at this graphically as depicted in the book is quite astounding. For two weeks of the month there is relative peace, then a short period of acute heightened sexual desire (bought on by the release of testosterone) then a string of days when a woman can become irritable emotional and easily upset.
Anecdotally some people think that the reason why number thirteen is unlucky because women have thirteen menstrual cycles during a calendar year. I have no idea about the accuracy of this information. Interesting though.
This chemical-behavioural fluctuation is further testament to the Real Social Dynamics ideology of living in a strong and self sustained reality. Women are drawn to men who serve as the grounding energy amongst the chaotic world. When her emotions are running wild, an unreactive, assertive and decisive man serves as the stability that is biologically challenging to maintain. This is another way of interpreting the notion of masculine polarity Tyler dissects in the Blueprint.
Be sure that due to women’s emotional fluctuation there will be fluctuation in her behaviour and psychology. In the eyes of a traditional community student this will come across as tests. Be unreactive to these tests and you will have just the sort of strength and self trust that she will naturally gravitate towards. Moral of the story is to be internally centred, unreactive and radiate a strong reality.
To further crystallise the notion of gender polarity you can think of men as independent entities and women as the forces connecting them, binding groups and circumventing social turbulence. Historically women relied on men for their physical wellbeing. Although modern society has super ceded this primal pattern there is no escaping the emotional and psychological urges to fulfil this innately wired societal role.
The basic emotional brain ceased significant evolution thousands of years ago as it was already totally equipped to pair bond, reproduce, naturally select worthy mates and protect children. These properties still exist today strong as ever but are somewhat stifled by cognition.
Have you ever had a women tell you that she’s complicated? This is the internal war between the modern brain and the primitive brain. The logic of stability versus the offspring of the dashing. Understand this objectively and fulfil both criterion.
On a deeper level how is it that women in pre-language primitive situations and still today intuitively understand others’ thought and emotions with the skill level that Brizendine quotes ‘rivals a psychic’? Anyone who has spent time in the field will know just how perceptive women are, they know all about you before you open your mouth.
The self is always coming through. This is the bottom line of natural game.
The psychological take on this never published prior to this book explains this phenomenon in a way that truly shook my perception of game and is on the same level of the Blueprint.
As a man you have a generally good perception of how people ‘really are’ regardless of their actions and behaviours. Women however have ten times this perception, and the level of intuition borders on freaky.
The perception itself evolved as a result of lacking physical ability. Instead of physical intervention or evasion perceptual interpretation and intuition would identify potential danger quickly and allow for the nullifying or evasive action.
Realise that whenever you are in the presence of women they will know instantly how you are feeling.
The most interesting part is how they do this. Of course there is no telepathy involved. What Brizedine reports is going on is a process called mirroring. Some may be familiar with this in the context of NLP, which is creepy.
However women naturally do this continually to make sense of the emotions the people they interact with are experiencing. Their rate and depth of breath mimic a man's, their posture mirrors the man's, the muscle tensions of the man is internalised by the woman, facial expression is matched and women begin to process emotions herself as it they were the man’s she is interacting with.
In community talk this process would occur most acutely when women are congruence testing men. This is testing for any sort of cognitive dissonance, apology, nervousness, self doubt or ego on his behalf. If the reading is positive for these negative emotions you can be sure that it is unlikely the women will endure an interaction where there is nothing but anxious feelings
to be experienced.
By that same principle if you approach a girl in a fun positive state she will instantly internalise it to perceive what sort of guys you are. If its high state or nimbus, fun, thrills, excitement or self trust she will internalise all the same things. Women are receptive by nature, drawing state from the world around whereas men draw it from within and siphon it onto others.
The real key to having a good night and getting girl boils down to the sole fact that whatever you are experiencing emotionally is exactly what she will experience.
Unless the case is that she has a stronger frame or reality than you.
Imagine you go in anxious about picking her up. She will internalise anxiety and you are done. Consider you think that she has more value than you, she will experience your feelings of neediness and be repelled. Contemplate approaching hopeful of getting a number, make out or any other form of close. She will instantly experience your feelings of hopefulness, or more accurately your lack of self trust. She doesn’t like the feeling of not trusting herself. You’re done.
Now, imagine you’re in state.
Nimbus ablaze...she will feel it a mile away and pug in as quickly as possible.
Imagine you decide to believe your game is a fucking ten, she will feel the allusive feeling of self trust that often escapes a women and be drawn quickly in.
Imagine you are the bringing the party, you are radiating fun. She will instantly get greedy and want some of that too.
But it’s ok because you can turn water into wine, you will never run out of goodness.
This is my ultimate rule of game...
whatever you are feeling is what she will feel.
This is the pillar of flawless natural game. Instant attraction. You cannot control what she is feeling, but you can control what you are and your experience.
Similarly, during a congruence test a woman is enjoying your company and enjoying the feelings you are giving her but will test the strength of your reality and frame. A man who’s feelings change as a result of a failed test (emotional reactivity) will influence the girl's emotions negatively and she will most likely be done with him.
It is empowering to know that if you express yourself to the right tune, feel good, genuinely trust yourself and live a perceptually fulfilled life women will never be far away.
The self is always coming through.
Be the music,
People will feel you loud and clear,
And be moved.
Alexander~
